Today, I watched a fly on the window, trying to find freedom as it jumped around looking at the world on the other side. I opened the window so it could be free, but instinctually, it flew away. I left the window open, backed away, and watched. It took several times leaping from window to window until finally the fly found the open window and set itself free.
Having long covid or another chronic illness sometimes feels like being trapped like the fly, looking out to the world that we wish we were a part of. Often we look out from the window of our current life hoping for something better. And, like the fly, although we keep trying to find our sense of freedom, we keep hitting road blocks or closed windows.
The important thing is that we keep trying. For a fly it might be instinct to keep seeking the light until it finds a pathway to the outside. For us it can feel a lot more grueling than working with instinct, but we can have hope. And with hope we persevere. And even if we are mad at our body, our life, why do we persevere? We have a reason for wanting something better. Because why not you? Why not me? Why not us? We deserve it. If we have hope, it means underlying all our physical and emotional pain is a belief in our self, even if it is a smidgen of belief, it's belief. Because you, all of us, are worth it.
So as we persevere and continue to hold on to hope, let's get fierce and feel the power of our self-belief, strengthen our self-worth, and ultimately, realize this all comes from self-love. This is our window.